Dark fear invades my body.
Wild doubt fills my mind.
Feeble insecurity empties my heart.
Eyeless uncertainty veils my soul.
I'm not sure if I've mentioned before, but I'm surrounded right now by pregnant women. Melissa is pregnant (SIL on Joel's side). Arelene is pregnant (SIL on Joel's side). Tammy is pregnant (Sister in law on Joel's side). Katrina is pregnant (SIL on my side) with twins. JoAnna (my best friend is pregnant). And I'm pretty sure Gemma (my sister) will be following pretty closely.
Monday night, while we were at the Drs with Sam, Jo called. She was bleeding. It's settled down, but am waiting to see what happens there.
Last night, Tam called. She's bleeding. Pretty heavily. It doesnt' look good. She's 10 and a half weeks, and utterly terrified. I'm so scared for them. She and Josh are sitting at the hospital still waiting to get the scan. I don't want to go out in case I miss the call. We've been in phone contact pretty constantly over the past 10 hours or so.
I have every thing crossed right now. I love these women, and want all of them to be happy. I don't want any of them to go through the kinds of things that I've been through (other than Jo, none of them have experienced miscarriages before). I feel so nervous, and can't seem to concentrate on anything today.
Stay, little ones. Stay.