My very soul is wedded to it, and if I were a bird I would fly about the earth seeking the successive autumns.
It’s the first day of Autumn, by far my favourite of the seasons.
Joel had an unexpected Saturday off (wonderful news when he has been working Saturdays for the past 8 weeks or so). The day dawned sunny but with a gentle breeze that softly caressed us all, enticing us into the outdoors, to spend the day together. We happily accepted the invitation, and decided to spend the morning up in the mountains.
The drive up was horrible, I’ll confess. I accidentally forgot to take one of my tablets yesterday. Of all of the tablets I could possibly neglect,this has perhaps the worst consequences, leaving me awash in vertigo, not sure whether I’m standing or falling at any given moment. Combine that with a mountain drive, and you find me perhaps as car sick as I have ever been. We had to pull over the car twice on the way up.
We arrived, and Joel positively lightened in the mountain air. He was immediately relaxed and peaceful. Alexander and I, not so much. I was still feeling quite seedy, and Alexander found himself somewhat disappointed that the playground Daddy had promised was simply not there (poor Joel felt terrible, he had gotten his mountains mixed up, lol. Very unusual for my man, who is never lost or confused about where he is or is going).
Anyway. Not to be deterred, we decided to stay and make the most of the solitude, and the fact that we had chosen not to bring phones.
We have the park almost to ourselves. I’m typing now, from a picnic table in the middle of the park. I am surrounded by tall, dark green trees. The sky is such a peaceful blue, but there are fluffy white clouds about. The breeze caresses us all and for a while (though this will change), all we can hear is the sound of the breeze in the trees and the birds. There are birds everywhere. I can’t see any of them, but I can hear them, and they too sing as though they are pleased to see the sun out and the breeze clearing out the stifling heat we’ve been having in Brisbane this summer.
We sit and eat a while, even Sam (who I might add, seems to love solids more than any child has ever loved any thing. It’s almost scary. I have grave fears for our future grocery budget). This was a last minute foray out, so the food is not gourmet, by any stretch, whatever we could round up in the pantry at home. We don’t want to get distracted at the shops. We want to get out early, and be home relatively early for Samuel.
Joel’s determined that today, as he’s home, if I’m well enough, I should do some writing. Anything you write, says he. Just so long as you’re writing, and feeling good. I know you’ve had such a rough week. Why don’t I bring the notebook with us so you can type away in the car and on the way up. (Note to self. If you are suffering vertigo, and on a mountain drive – typing while in a moving vehicle is a what we call A. Very. Bad. Idea. Honest. Trust me).
So here I sit, as Joel and Alexander lie on the picnic rug with Samuel, who is trying his damndest to eat his feet, the grass, any of his toys, even poor Bronte.
I’m filled with contentment. Here, with the canopy of trees, the melody of hidden birds and the cool mountain air, I again contemplate my life. I’ve been doing this a lot lately, it seems blogs have this affect. I’ve decided that it’s not a bad thing. My introspective and creative sides are fuelled by this medium,and I suspect I’m going to be very, very glad one day that I’ve started it.
I’m happy. This isn’t how I thought I’d be spending my Saturday. I’m not going to accomplish any of the things I had planned. The pictures are still unhung. There are two loads of washing waiting for me, and floors ready to be mopped. The lawns probably won’t be mowed today, and tomorrow that may bother me. But this, this is infinitely better. I’m sitting in a picture perfect little park. The weather is cool (always a happy occasion for me, I despise the heat). My family is together. Samuel is finally recovering ( I hope) from his ear infection. Alexander is animated and adorable today. The things he’s saying have both Joel and I smiling and spontaneously kissing him (though in truth, that is the normal state of affairs in our home. There have always been a lot of hugs and kisses, it’s how we all are).
I have my dark moments, plenty of them lately. I experience hopelessness and anger,
joy and felicity and all the way back again. My swings (I'm loathe to call them mood swings, that seem so pedestrian, as though this was a simply case of PMS, it certainly doesn't feel that way) are exhausting at the moment, and I'm not entirely sure how to even them out.
But right now, today, up here, I feel lighter, and so glad Joel talked me into this. I confess, I'm not really an outdoors kind of gal. I'm a fan of air conditioners and coffee makers and clean, working amenities. But this really is beautiful today.
And time is moving so quickly. Sam's 5 months old, Alexander has gotten through his first month of school (fabulously, by the way. More on that later). The weeks are flying by, and I want to slow down and take as many days like this as I can. I want this to be what the boys remember. Days of Alexander chasing Joel around a park, his squeals and his Daddy's laugh the music we live by.
I'm done typing. I want to scoop my boys up and lie on the rug with them, just seeing what we can see in the clouds. I'm sure I spotted a heart. Maybe it was just mine, so full it simply couldn't be contained another moment.
(Oh, for the record. The quotation in the title, that's Emily Bronte's. Not mine. If wishing made it so..)