Thursday, 19 June 2008
You're so full of life, always moving. You have an entire world in front of you, and you're so determined to meet it all head on, take it all in. Right now.
But there are moments, oh, so fleeting, where you take a breath. You sigh, and rest your head on my shoulder. And a calm envelops us both, and I stop everything else. I stop moving. I stop thinking. I stop seeing anything. I close my eyes, I rest my cheek upon your golden curls.
They are the softest thing in the world, and as I breathe you in, I'm lost. I'm yours my darling child, and you are mine.
And then your head jerks up and around, wondering what you've missed in the seconds you gifted to me. Our eyes meet, and you grin that smile of yours, all teeth and dimples and big blue eyes and you grin and touch my face before you lean back down, determined to be back on your way.
I let you down, silently whispering thanks for each of those treasured happenings.
Ephermeral moments where the world keeps swirling around us and we, mother and child choose to be still, joined at the heart. They may be fleeting, Samuel Thomas, but they will last forever. I will forever, when I think of you, close my eyes, and feel your soft curls against my cheek and your chubby fingers touching my lips, as your smile lightens me, and your knowing eyes seem to speak to me of love and understanding.
I know Mama. I know I don't hug as much as he does. I know I don't slow down and snuggle the way he does. But I love you. And I do need you. And I know we need this. I know these are more than just cuddles. We're imprinting and making memories, our souls forever joined in these moments. I need you too.