Wednesday, 11 June 2008
Today would have been your 25th wedding anniversary. You should be waking up to roses and a cup of tea, a kiss from Dad and a smile on your face.
You're not though. You've been gone 5 years, and he's in Japan today. With his new wife. And I don't think I can go there right now. But I had to tell you I'm here. And I'm remembering. And I'm thinking of you.
I'm glad you had those 20 years together. I'm glad that after your difficult (to say the least) first 2 relationships, you found the kind of love you were looking for. I'm glad that you got to experience true passion, love and friendship. I'm so grateful for the family you and Dad created for us. It was such a blessing to be raised in it.
I loved that you never went anywhere together without being connected in some way, holding hands, his arm around you. The hugs. The kisses. The flowers. How many times did he just show up at work with a glorious bouquet? Oh, how you'd sparkle. That special smile, just for him. So we'd all sigh and look at the two of you with envy.
You used to look at him like he hung the moon. I know that feeling, and I'm so glad you experienced it. I'm so glad you showed me this kind of love existed. I'm glad you taught me that I deserved nothing less.
We would have had the best day today, you know. You just know there'd have been a party. You hated parties and attention (homebody that you were) but I know you'd have loved this one..celebrating your love for him was the exception to that rule. You were so incredibly in love with him, and you simply shone whenever you spoke of him.
I miss you. I'm thinking of you both today. This will be the first year since you died, that Dad and I haven't spoken first thing June 11th (he's out of contact atm). But I'm thinking of him, and I know he's thinking of you.
We miss you so much. But I don't want to be sad today. I want to think about the 20 wonderful years you did have. I want to celebrate a love that helped shape me, and my marriage, which as you knew, was the greatest, most wonderful gift I have.
Sleep. We haven't forgotten.