Tuesday, 30 December 2008
A magic moment I remember:
I raised my eyes and you were there.
A fleeting vision, the quintessence
Of all that's beautiful and rare.*
I remember the rain most. The sun had set, and the moon peeked out at us from behind a patch of clouds.
The softest mist fell around us. We were outside, underneath the arch by their gate, holding hands (never further apart than that), talking about our future. We'd been together just weeks, but we both knew. We knew the moment was coming, and soon. We were perfect for each other, destined to spend our lives wrapped in this love. And both ready for the rest of our lives to just *start* already.
The jasmine is next. The sweet smell, mixed with the aroma of summer rain always takes me back to that night.
I knew you were planning to ask me to marry you. I knew you'd talked to my sister about rings, and she'd guided you a little. But at this point, I thought it was a little while away. I was listening to you, but found myself enchanted (as I'm want to do) with the moment.
I love the rain. I have always loved the rain. I can't help but be out in it. And you put up with it that night, (as you so often do), me dragging you away from our friends, to exalt in the raindrops. I remember I couldnt' wipe the smile off my face, and felt so at peace with the world at that moment. I was smiling and talking and when I looked up, you had this look in your eyes.
"What", I prodded, thinking maybe I was talking too much again (me? Never!!). You shook your head and smiled, pulling me into your arms. "No, it's ok".
"What?" my hand on your chest, I pull back a little, to get a good look at you. And as I look into those beautiful green eyes, I knew.
I knew this was it, that though we hadn't planned it this way, this was the moment you were going to ask me to be your wife. This was no candlelit dinner. No roses. No music. Not even a ring. This was more. This was a moment when your heart was sure of it's desire, and you chose to claim it. You chose to simply allow your heart what it wanted, and to expeience the moment. There was no doubt in my mind. Nor was there any doubt I'd say yes.
Down on one knee, those words made everything else fade away for a moment. I looked down and you took my hand and I felt such love, such joie, the most exhilerating sense of well being. I don't remember what we wore. I couldn't tell you at exactly what time I agreed to marry you. But I remember what your lips felt like, our first kiss after we became betrothed. Soft and sweet, then soon firmer as the kiss deepened, and you spoke to me without words.
That was 12 years ago tonight, Joel. Twelve years ago you asked me to be your wife. I'd say yes a thousand times, my love. Thank you for asking me. Thank you for making that the best decision of my life.
I love you.
And in Life's noisiest hour,
There whispers still the ceaseless Love of Thee,
The heart's Self-solace and soliloquy.
You mould my Hopes, you fashion me within;
And to the leading Love-throb in the Heart
Thro' all my Being, thro' my pulse's beat;
You lie in all my many Thoughts, like Light,
Like the fair light of Dawn, or summer Eve
On rippling Stream, or cloud-reflecting Lake.
And looking to the Heaven, that bends above you,
How oft! I bless the Lot that made me love you.**
*From A Magic Moment I Remember
by Alexander Pushkin
**From The Presence of Love - Samuel Taylor Coleridge.