When he was about 2, I started to get a niggling feeling. Not cluckiness, not even close. But regret. That my son, filled with such a loving spirit and generous heart, would never be a big brother. That he would have no sibling to follow him around, adore him, play with him. That he would be, or already was, lonely.
Joel and I would watch him outside, playing on his swing set, all alone. Talking to himself, or just swinging, saying nothing. And our hearts ached a little. We suddenly felt a sense of loss for Alexander, and after much discussion, decided to have another baby.
Of course, as many of you know, it took more than 2 years, and 3 losses, but finally, Samuel Thomas entered our lives. And while Alexander seemed happy enough, that connection was lacking. Obviously, Sam was a baby, so we knew it would take time for them to fall in love.
The time has come, my friends. My two sons are completely, utterly and deliciously devoted to one another. It is intense, it is hilarious and it is heartwarming. No two children ever loved each other more or craved each other so.
So much so, that they've moved in together! Alexander begged and begged, often sneaking into Sam's cot to be with him.
We agreed, a couple of weeks ago, to let them have a 'sleepover', moving Alexander's matress in for a weekend. And that, my friends, was that. They've refused to be apart since. A week later, we moved the bed in. They are thrilled. You can't imagine the smiles on our faces the first morning when we heard them discover one another. A gasp from ALexander. Sam! A chuckle from Samuel. Then, at the exact same moment, ear shattering squeals. It was divine.
The first time. Of course, it happens that way every morning, lol and sometimes morning is being generous. More than once we've heard a loudly whispered "Sam..are you awake, Sammy? Saaaammmmmy..." then a giggle from the latter.
Sleepovers.
Nothing excites either more than the prospect of a bath. "Brothers in the Bath!" Alexander will exclaim, and Samuel's legs will kick like nothing I've ever seen, as his arms fly about (usually taking out the face of whichever parent drew the short straw and had to carry him into the bath) and he sqeals as loudly as his brother. In fact, the new favourite game in this house appears to be a squealing competition. Literally. A competition to see who can squeal louder. Sam wins, in case you wondered.
They splash and yell and make altogether too much mess and too much noise. While Joel and I take it in turns to attempt to sternly reprimand the boys about bath safety while the other chuckles and awwwws at how cute they are. We are pathetic. Honestly.
They are already different boys though. Alexander is our sensitive soul. Caring and obsessed with everybody being happy. Hates for anyone to be sad or grumpy or anything less than thrilled with life.
He is smarter, I think, than even we had realised. He astounds us with the things he knows and does. His favourite sentence at the moment.."Oh, I'll just google it!). His reading is amazing but his computer skills have left us reeling, and installing a net nanny faster than you can say You Tube.
He loves his family and wants nothing more than to snuggle at home with us, or hold hands at the park with his loved ones. Noone can fail to notices his enormous, expressive brown eyes, breathtaking lashes and sweet little face. His features quite perfect at times with manners and nature to match. He is gentle and kind and good and quite probably the best thing I've done in my life.
Samuel is going to be my daredevil. I can tell he'll be my snowboarding, base jumping, dude saying, beanie wearing son. Turning me grey and charming everyone with his cheeky grin, big blue eyes and luscious curls.
He is so extreme either beside himself (angry or sad) or in love with life. He squeals and yells with equal fervour. He laughs at nothing and cries at the drop of a hat. He loves his father and his brother like nothing in this world (well, except maybe custard!) and snuggles in so that your heart just melts. He loves Thomas the Tank Engine and Baby Shakespear, his Uncle Josh and trees swaying in the breeze captivate him. He HATES (with a passion) bibs and mandarins, his cot and being left alone. For so much as a second.
He's been working on his eighth tooth now for more than a month, and has so many ear infections, I swear, I've lost count. His Child Health Nurse came out to see him today (can you believe my baby boy is now 10 months old????) and noted that his anterior fontanelle has completely closed. She's a little concerned (though he seems to be meeting all of his milestones) so we're off to get it checked out next week, as well as begging for a referral to an ENT. She has also referred me to a psych.
Speaking of teeth....
Yes. I cried. Like a baby.
