Friday, 27 March 2009
Cheaper than Therapy
So this time last week was almost the worst state I've been in since that first month after Sam was born. I wanted to die, and I couldn't see a way out.
In the past couple of days, I've discovered a few things that can be quite healing, soothing my soul with memories of my childhood, and dreams from my past.
I present you with a temporary cure..
First, and probably most importantly. I've gone to bed early (really early) every night this week. I'm exhausted. I don't know if the depression is making me tired, or the fatigue is making me depressed, but I feel like I'm wading through knee deep mud all of the time, and my head is fuzzy. I think there are going to be weeks more of this, just to come close to catching up a little. I'm stealing every chance I can get to sleep.
A couple of special days with my boys. I spent all of Wednesday morning at school with Alexander, doing readers with his class. I love being there in the classroom. I'm proud to say most of the kids in his class (the ones I knew from last year) love me, and are very affectionate. It was a wonderful couple of hours, and Alexanders eyes simply shone as he told me how much he loved having me there. :) Excellent therapy.
The next day I took my beautiful baby boy to my Sister-in-law's (Tammy) for what has become our weekly playdate. My two sisters in law (Tam and Melissa), my best friend Jo (and from next week, another sister in law, Arlene) all get together over Beesting Cake and coffee and watch the babies play. It's a nice chance to catch up, sugar up and gush over these adorable little people.
(Excuse the dummy. He's cutting molars. It's this or a perfect set of teethmarks on my arm).
Though I can't pretend this didn't help..
But the surprise?
All week long I've been thinking about Madeline, and the books I'd read to her. And it took me back to what was probably my favourite childhood book. And I'm so, so sad that I don't have my original copy. (Though I did find this great site, so I could read it on line..) But, I got myself a copy of the movie (and I will say that I believe this to be one of the *very* few movies that actually lived up to the book).
Let me take you back, my friends...
I used to think if anyone was every going to get away with calling me something like "Carrots", it'd better be Gilbert Blythe.
Oh, didn't you just love Matthew at this moment? The sleeves!
Did you have a Lake of Shining Waters when you were a girl? Sounds so much better than "Barry's Pond", or "The Creek" in my case.
It's amazing what a little bit of whimsy can do for the soul. I'm wallowing in it, letting it seep into me, under my skin. Feel it's gentle pulse caress my jitters away.
It's a start.