Monday, 14 September 2009
Labels: The Love Of My Life
It was after 1am when you found me, sitting in a dark room, just staring. The tears would not, somehow could not stop falling, tracing their way down my face, following the path of the thousands that had come before.
Your voice startled me, and I jumped. You touched my face, and the tears were no longer silent. Huge, wretched sobs left my body, and I could not make them stop. For the second time that day, you watched me come completely unhinged.
Your arms immediately wrapped around me and you led me to our bed. Your hands didn't leave me for a moment as you helped me under the covers. I was no help. I couldn't not seem to make my arms move or make the tears stop.
We've been married 12 years, and while we are completely tactile, when we sleep, we keep to our own space. Neither of us can fall asleep wrapped in each other's arms. But you turned off the lights and got into bed, pulling me close to you.
Your arms were strong around me, firm, but so gentle, almost reverant. You stroked my hair and whispered to me. You, my sweet, quiet man of few words spoke to me. You spoke of love and lust. You spoke to me about how much you love me, and our family. You told me storied, reminding me of our earlier days, retelling stories from our honeymoon. (Yes. It may have been 12 years ago, but really. Who orders garlic prawns on their honeymoon????).
You paid attention to my body, knowing when I was tense and needing you to back up a bit, knowing when I needed to be moulded to your body. You knew when you needed to speak, whispering in my ear, and you knew when it was time to just hold me.
You help my head in your hands as you traced kisses all over my face - kissing tears, my nose, my lips, my forehead. You were almost reverant as you kissed me, I dont' know that I've ever felt so cherished.
You instinctively knew the moment our kisses changed, taking on more urgency than before. You traced my lip with your tongue, and just knew that I would respond. I had known you were affected, for an hour, I could feel you. But you held back, made no attempt at all to change the course of our moment.
You made love to me so gently and it was one of the purest, most beautiful moments of my life. Not a word was spoken by either of us, and yet our love was communicated so strongly, so perfectly.
I think maybe you came in and saved me all over again. Thank you, my love. I am so lucky to have you, and so determined to just never let go.
I am yours.