Samuel Thomas.

My Darling Samuel,




I didn't end up doing much of a post about you last month, when you turned two. Mummy wasn't feeling very well, but I didnt' forget. I wanted so much to write about you, to tell all of my friends about my growing baby boy.



It just seems so odd to stop calling you a baby. I referred to you that way this morning, and realised, when the woman learned your age, that I ought to stop. But it just seems to have gone so fast, from my chubby little newborn to my curly haired bear.


This was you, just over 2 years ago, my sweet Sammy Tom.

You had these amazing chipmunk cheeks, and a shock of raven hair, so dark. You were mostly a placid little newborn, though you found trying to feed very frustrating. I think, my little man, that you have a bit of a lazy streak, because when we tried a bottle, you drank the whole thing right down! And even two years later, you prefer foods you don't have to 'work' for.

You got more and more beautiful, little Sam.

I won't lie, sweet heart. Those first two years were rough. For all of us. You had sooo many ear infections, and such terrible reflux. It is only now, at 2 that you are coming even close to sleeping through the night. And you are a terrible eater!



But you are so adorable. I think you might have Mummy's sense of humour. You are constantly trying to make us laugh, pulling silly faces, tickling everyone and pulling the silliest little faces. Something clicked the week you turned 2, and you just seem so much happier. You're my golden-haired, blue eyed delicious little man.

You love cars and trains. You adore your Uncle Josh and you love Koko. You're just getting to know Madeline and Luka better now that you're all getting a bit bigger, and I love seeing you play with your cousins.

I was really worried, my love because between 12 months and 2 years, you didn't learn a single new word. You still only said "Daddy" and "Ta".

But the week you turned two? An explosion of words, my darling. Now you can say "I've got it"; "Here it is"; "Here you are"; "There you go"; "Here he is" (Which you like to say at 5.30 each morning when you figure your poor brother has had enough sleep). You say "Bubbles", your favourite food at the moment. You say "Mine" (that's new, only last night". You say Belly, you count to three, your favourite word is "Gooooooooo". You're so very cute when you count to three. You put your finger right into your dimple in your cheek (picturing Dr Evil here????) and say "Two, two, three GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO", before you launch yourself off whatever you've chosen to send Mama grey.



You're incredibly affectionate now, and you have the ladies at your daycare utterly smitten. They do get very cross with us when we cut your ringlets off. Right now, even I'm loving them, I love running my fingers through those golden curls.

You hug and kiss and pat everyone. Your hugs are so intense they're nearly painful, and I don't know how my nose hasn't acutally broken yet, but oh my, they are so worth the feeling I get when those chubby little arms clutch around my neck.

You love with abandon, and I love that about you, Samuel. I love that you feel things so strongly. It scares me a little. Our 2 year old joke that you are our "Bipolar Baby" isn't as funny as it once was.


I want you to know that no matter how hard, I love you. I love you so desperately and can not, for a moment, imagine our family without your happy voice and infectious giggle. There is nothing in the world that comes close to making me as happy as hearing you and your brother laughing together.

You are a gift to us ,Samuel Thomas, and I'm thankful every day for you. You were the final piece in our family and we are complete now that we have you. Sometimes I watch you and love you so much my chest hurts. Don't worry. That's a good thing. One day, you'll understand.


Your brother is your hero, and you follow and copy him all day long. Your eyes search for him every day at the school gates and you squeal so loudly when you finally do spot him.

You're still mostly a Daddy's boy, but in the past couple of months, have leaned more to me. You wrap your arms around my neck and don't let go. You snuggle your head on my shoulder, and now and again, you deliberately move just enough for me to plant a soft kiss on your neck, before you snuggle back down.

Those moments, my darling boy, are part of what Mama is holding onto. They remind me that I need to get better, becuase I can't bear the thought of missing out on a moment with you.


Mama's going to be very soppy now and put up our song for you. You're just going to have to suck it up and let me kiss you all over whenever it comes on.

So they sprinkled
moondust in your hair of gold; and starlight in your eyes of
blue.