Sting

You say you love me but you've gone out of your way to hurt. You've been cruel, and you've been tacky about it.

I don't know why I'm so surprised.

Before we get back to our scheduled programming..

Just a couple of Interweb memes. Because they're easy and light and fluffy and I'm still recoiling from being told I'm a drama queen who needs to get over myself and stop seeking attention from my internet 'friends'.

Aaaanyhoo..

And for the record. I wasn't tagged in any of these. Cows.


From Confusion Soup




What is your current obsession? Confession time, I guess. I put off reading Twilight for-freaking-ever. Anyway. Was basically dared to read it and read the four books in four days. Have to say, enjoyed myself. Took a while to get into the first book. Realised, I needed to get back to my 15 year old self and take it with a grain of salt.

Then fell a teeny bit in love with those Cullen boys.


I'm so ashamed.


What are you wearing today? A soft pink tank and a white skirt.

What’s for dinner? Chicken Parmiagana and Veges.

What’s the last thing you bought? Bananas and Polaramine (for Joel). Thrilling, no?

What are you listening to right now? Dr Hook - I got stoned and I missed it.

If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go? To sleep. Or if you were all bitches, and wouldn't let me sleep (why would you do that?????) I'd actually love to sneak off by myself with a tall Chai Latte and wander around a museum or a library for a couple of hours.

Which language do you want to learn? I can't choose one, though my first would probably be French. But I'd also love to learn Italian, Spanish and Latin (just because).

What do you love most about where you currently live? Meh. My boys are here.

What is your favourite colour? Soft Pink. Followed by a seafoamy green and white.

What is your favorite piece of clothing in your own wardrobe? A delicious red and white A Line Skirt that I love. That is, sadly (?) about 2 sizes too large, and literally falls off my hips. I have 4 skirts like that. I must find someone to take them in for me. They haven't fit me since Sam.

Describe your personal style? I'm currently between styles. Nothing fits me. Everything I own (almost) is too big.

If you had $300 now, what would you spend it on? Rent. Joel's boss 'forgot' to pay us. He owes us $1900. We have literally $20 to our name until he does.

What are you going to do after this? Housework. Having a cleaning day.

What are your favourite films? I love happy, fluffy movies. I have enough angst happening in my own little head, I don't want to watch it. So I love "While You Were Sleeping", "The American President", "Sleepless in Seattle", "Father of the Bride"( 1&2),"Dirty Dancing", "Grease" "Nine Months" etc. You get the drift.

Do you collect anything? Blogs? I'm not a collector.

What makes you follow a blog? It depends. I follow Ave, Mary, Kirrily, Jenn, et al because they are amazing. They are artists and they breathe so much into their writings that I'm left speechless. Sometimes they make me laugh. Sometimes they make me cry. Sometimes they just make me plain happy.

I follow Kim, Sal, Simone, Nicole, Pen, Karen, Renay,Dannii, Bec, Shell, Donna etc beacuse I 'know' them from elsewhere and adore them. I love hearing about their lives, and feeling connected to them. Of course, there are many, many more in this category (But Joel's finished his coffee, and I'm stalling on mine, so should really get on with this).

Do you like to comment on blogs or just lurk? Usually, I comment. I love to comment, because I think it's nice to be acknowledged. But I confess, I've been in a pretty bad place these past few months, and I've been a bad friend.

What’s one thing you dream of doing? Going to university to study Creative Writing, Communication and Journalism.

What is your biggest regret? Not having tackled my weight problem at 13/14 when it first began. My mother made an offhand comment about me having put weight on when I was 12, and it shattered me. In my head, I was suddenly enormous, far too fat to exercise around anyone.

Looking back, I was barely carrying any extra weight. But every year it got worse. Still, at 20, I was still just a size 14, not the end of the world. In my head it was so unbeatable. I wish I knew then what I know now. I wish I'd beaten it then.

What is your favourite thing to do on a rainy day? Make love and sleep in my husband's arms. Read a book, watch a few things I've recorded. Drink coffee and hold hands, while we chat about nothing in particular.

Do you have a tattoo? No.

What are you favourite books? You probably already know all of this.

Anne of Green Gables
Little Women
Pride and Prejudice
To Kill a Mockingbird

Describe your ideal holiday Joel and I actually had this conversation yesterday. He'd like to trek through South America, Patagonia being his most desired destination. I'd like to explore parts of Europe. I know it's a cliche. But I want to see Italy, France, the UK, parts of Germany and Austria, the Swiss Alps, Prague etc.


I tag: Averil, Kim, Renay, Sally, Dannii, Amicus (in a desperate attempt to get her back to her blog), Caroline and Karen








From Life as a Goff.

How did you come up with the name of your blog? I started this blog when Sam was a couple of months old. I was missing my mother more even than normal, Sam was about the age Alexander was when Mum died. I was thinking of how much she had missed in the 5 years since she'd been gone. Things with Xander, things with friends. Wishing I could tell her all about it. And there you have it.


What was the first blog you followed? The first blog I got hooked on was a blog about a little baby with Leukemia.

What blog do you follow that surprises you doesn't have more followers? Bec. She's incredibly funny.

The blog you adore the style of? Mary

The blog you visit first thing in the morning? Nilla

The blog you go to for a laugh? Mary or Ree. Also Redneck Mommy, but today's entry is heartbreaking. :-(

The blog you go to live vicariously or get inspiration from and why? I love this blog when I'm in need for some femininity, some 'pretty'. I love the style of The Laurel Hedge. I go to Jenn when I want to stir my muse. That woman has the soul of a poet, and takes my breath away.

Which blog did you get this from? Life as a Goff.


Tags for this one: Mary (deal with it Mar, I want to know), Mellie, Ellie, Mel and the lovely Simone.

Wondering

He waits for me, snuggled up in bed, fighting sleep. He knows I'll come in and kiss him when I'm out of the shower.

I open his door and am met with a slight smile, pensive. Not the usual beam when he sees me. His lashes still take my breath away as they caress his soft cheeks. I smile as he puts his hand in mind, and reaches the other to brush hair from my eyes.






"Mummy, who do you think I'll marry? What will she be like?"
"I don't know my love. I think she'll be very special, if you love her"
"I hope so. I just don't know who she is yet"
"No, but you'll meet her one day, when you're ready. I wonder if she'll like me"

He smiles, such a tender look for such a little man, and he strokes my cheek, planting the softest of kisses on my eyelid. "Oh, I hope so too, Mummy. I hope she will love you like I do".


A pause. Something on his mind. Brown eyes slowly raise to meet mine. A whisper. "Do you think she'll like me, Mummy?". Vulnerable, nervous. Wanting Mama to reassure.




As if there could be any doubt.

"I think she will love you more than she has ever loved anyone. I think she will love you the most in the world".

A sigh of relief, and the smile my heart lives for. "I hope so. And Mummy?"
"Yes, sweet?"
" I hope she will really, really love to have a puppy".

Priorities. The boy's got em.


I love him so much I think my heart might just burst, not large enough, not good enough to hold a love so sacred.

I hope she knows how lucky she is.

Buttercup

Averil, for the longest time, I've meant to show you this.

Since you announced your pregnancy, since your posts about Thumble(ina), I've had this image in my head.

I know the gender is a surprise. I know that I'm terrible at these things.

But I can't stop imagining this.



Aren't they beautiful?

Just so you know.

It's not all bad.

Pic of my baby. Can you believe he's only a month off two????





At the moment he's all squeals and smiles and kisses and hugs. Tickles and giggles, cars and drawing (on walls).

He does not sleep at night. I might die.

But holy crap, the cuteness. I'll die happy.

Things Fall Apart.

This week marked what would have been my mother's 50th birthday. Bringing with it a host of memories, regret and questions.

My father's wife's dementia has reached a horrible place, and my father is broken. I literally fear he will kill himself.

I'm still recovering from that virus that knocked me out a week or so back.

Sam is not sleeping, I'm getting 3-4 hours of broken sleep a night.

And, last week, I lost my job. The virus came upon me so quickly, I wasn't able to give her more than 48 hours that I wasn't going to meet the deadline. I was so ill, I could literally not sit up in bed and joel had to help me get up to go to the bathroom. To say I'm gutted would not come close to how I feel about this.

The past few days, I've walked around, constantly feeling sick to the stomach, tears pricking my eyes, but refusing to fall.

Today, I've had no such problem. I can't seem to make them stop. I have not cried this hard in years.

More on all of these things when I can. Right now, I'm just having myself a mini breakdown while the boys are at school/daycare.

Things have fallen apart and I'm hanging on, by a thread. Barely.