I'm feeling a bit flummoxed at the moment. I have things I want to talk about, but I come here every day to do it and it all gets a bit hazy. I'm having trouble articulating what's bothering me at the moment. I'm feeling very disconnected from everything around me. I'm in my head far too much, but it's so loud it's hard to make sense of any of it.
My dreams are filled with sadness and anger and hatred (directed at me) and I'm sleeping poorly because of it. I avoid sleep until I can't stay awake a moment longer then doze in fitful sessions, awaking with a sense of dread several times a night.
I think I'll sort myself out better when Alexander is back at school and we have something of a routine happening again. I need to reconnect with my psych team (it's been nearly 7 weeks) and adjust medications. I need quiet time to sort out the mess of thoughts running around my head, faster and louder than usual.
Bear with me. I'm still functioning, but barely. My attention span is down to almost nothing, and this is the longest I've focused on one task in weeks.
I hope you're all ok. I haven't been able to really do any reading, so I apologise for not keeping in touch through your blogs. I'm hoping to get some time over the weekend (Joel is taking Alexander camping).
Hi Sweetie, missing you, glad you have been able to post today. Sending healing thoughts and love your way. Hope you can reconnect with your pysch team soon. I wish I could do more than leave you words of encouragement, but know I think of you every day and wonder how you are going. Hugs from Perth xxx
ReplyDeleteThinking of you. Hope you get through til that sought after routine. I know you will but I hope things ease up for you.
ReplyDeleteHang in there. We will be here when you return.
ReplyDeleteHope you're feeling better soon, thinking of you Mel.
ReplyDeleteBe well,
Charli xox
Glad you were able to post. Hugs and much love to you x
ReplyDeleteMaybe your dreams are calling you to attention? I'm really glad you are not pushing through in trying to put your thoughts here, if you feel foggy when you look at that blank Create Post screen then that says to me you are protecting your personal space. Good girl!
ReplyDeletexxx Good luck in finding that pendulum swinging back to somewhere near middle soon, Sweets.
I was only just thinking of you yesterday and missing your entries.
ReplyDeleteBig kisses from me.
Pen
xx
All the best to you and I hope you are able to sort things out. I have felt a similar way to you just before christmas. A little time to yourself helps so I am glad to hear, if the camping goes ahead, that might happen. Take care:)
ReplyDeleteI am sorry to hear about your health and mental being at the moment, but keep in mind you will get through it, I have just had to increase my medication and going back to councelling on a weekly basis, I probably would have felt ashamed to mention this before, but with your honesty I have been able to tell you, hang in there, keep grounded, thinking of you. Mel xxx
ReplyDeleteHey hon. I'm wondering if now might not be such a good time to give up sugar. The withdrawal does wreak havoc on your mental state for quite some time. Maybe the feelings you're having are attributable to the withdrawal symptoms but either way, it might be best to check with your health team before you continue.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you, Mel. I sincerely hope you're feeling better soon. xxxx
Thinking of you my beautiful friend and miss you lots, Im sorry that youre feeling the way youre feeling xoxo
ReplyDeletethinking of you - and will be pleased when you get back into your groove.
ReplyDeleteI do not know whether these responses come through or not, but as a weathered compatriot, look at all of the good days you have had this month. Read back over your beautiful thoughts. Rejoice that you are still able to share your voice. (Sorry--didn't mean to make that into a lame rhyme). Days with doubts cannot continue forever. Sending love and hope your way.
ReplyDeleteMy thought are with you. I cannot offer much as I am in the same place as you at the moment. Just wanted you know that I have been thinking about you.
ReplyDeleteJust love. And do what you know to do. Take care.
ReplyDelete