First Blush

I have a confession to make, dear internets. You'll roll your eyes, but it's a very big deal for me. Huge, really.

I've made friends.  Actual-honest - to - goodness girlfriends. The kind you're excited to see each day, the kind you drink coffee and talk about anything with.  The kind that you can talk to about your husbands, your kids, your mother in law, your depression.  The kind who will actually be a shoulder to cry on when you need it.  But more than that.  The type you'll let yourself need.

They're all school Mums.  2 of them have boys in Xander's class (the 3 have been together since Prep) and one in the class next door.  I've been on friendly enough terms with 2 of them since the beginning of Prep, and been on a hello basis with the other.  But this year, somehow, the 4 of us have just clicked.

They know about the BiPolar.  They know all about the depression and anxiety, the agoraphobia. They know of my telephone phobia, so when we're not together, we have group conversations via Facebook. We joke, we tease, (Ok, mostly I tease, because lets face it, I'm snarky like that) and we have serious, touching discussions.

Trina was the first one I connected with.  She has 2 boys, and a 2 year old girl (who also joins us on our girl days, got to teach her early). She has struggled with depression somewhat, and she is just one of the easiest people to talk to.  Last year, when things were really bad, she was one of the first people I was able to tell, and she was nothing but supportive.  She watched out for Xander, touched base with Joel when I couldn't speak, and has been there for me ever since.

Pammy was next, she's the baby of our group, at just 25 (I think).  Cow - she's freaking hot! She is a single Mama to the adorable Mr J.  (the other Mr J - Trina has a J in Xander's class as well).  She's fun, friendly, outgoing and shares my love of Christian Louboutin.  At first glance, she looks like your typical blonde party girl, but there's so much more to Pam, and I'm loving getting to know her better.

Lisa was the last one for me to get to know, but she's been worth the wait.  We've really connected, particularly in the past couple of weeks.  Initially, I thought she was going to be the quiet one in our group.  But, my friends, she has nearly as much snark as me!  And a husband who thinks we're all crazy! He may be right. 

We all went out together for the first time last week.  We did reading at school first, then met at the shopping centre.  We sat and drank coffee and dragged embarrassing stories out of each other (Lisa - you owe us BIG), and then went to see a movie (where we sat up the back and played up a bit). I'm pretty sure Pammy and Lis were just there to perve at Taylor Lautner. Which, you know, ewww..he's what? 12? Pervs.

Of course, Trina and I weren't at all there to perv at McDreamy or McSteamy.....

 We shopped, drank more coffee and then went back to get our boys. 

It was the most fun I can remember having in more than a year.

Friends! Me!?!?!  Who'd have thunk it 6 months ago? After JoAnna, Gemma and Melissa decided we were done, I honestly thought that I just wasn't cut out for girlfriends.  But I'm getting on well with 2 of my other sisters-in-law Tam and Arlene, and now this.

I've still got you, dear internet.  Don't think I've forgotten.  Some of you helped keep me alive last year. They won't take your place.  But it's kind of nice that my heart can carve out a niche just for them. 

Pam, Trina, Lisa. I'm so grateful to have the three of you.  Thank you for 'getting' me, and for being as insane as I am. It helps.

It's new, but it feels solid.  Who knows, maybe in 10 years time, when our children are finishing up year 12, we'll all still be together, crying into our coffees (I daresay we'll have dragged out the alcohol waaaay before that) about our boys growing up, and no little tramps being good enough for them.

I feel hopeful.  I feel happy.

Lisa, enjoy Tasmania, but come back to us quickly - we'll miss you.