First crush

I'm watching one of my favourite book -> movie adaptations in the world right now, and sighing away, remembering the way my heart would speed up and the butterflies would send my stomach all aflutter. His 'moony' eyes and floppy hair that made an 8 year old me dream of falling in love with my best male friend one day. I imagined being loved 'from afar', I imagined dramatically (as only Anne-girl could) asking him not to say it...not to ruin what's already there...(little did I know how close that would be not much more than a dozen years later).

And it got me thinking to all of my literary (or movie) crushes, and how none of the ones to come could quite live up to my earliest dreams, my first goosebumps and flutters.

What about you? Who were (or are) your favourite literary crushes? Have they changed much, now that you're an adult? Did you marry a man anything like you'd imagined as a young girl, lost in the magic of a book?

Here were my earliest loves.

1.  Captain Von Trapp. Yes. I know. My first encounter with this dashing, grieving widower was not in the world of books, but in the first movie my mother and I used to watch together. We'd sit, curled up and debate whether I was Brigitta or Liesl, while secretly I dreamed of Christopher Plummer's handsome face and beautiful voice.  My mother (much later) used to comment that she'd always imagined that I, like Maria would actually fall in love with and marry and older man with children.

2. Gilbert Blythe.

If you weren't in love with Gilbert, there's something wrong with you.  Did you just not read the book? Or watch the 1985 mini-series (I haven't watched any other. Refuse to. I won't let them spoil Colleen's Marilla, Megan's Anne or Jonathan's Gilbert.  And don't even get me started on Richard Farnsworth as Matthew. He was so perfect in that role, and today, 25 years on, I still want to sob at the thought of him).

It's still a dream of mine to one day make the pilgrimage (for that is what it would be. Not a trip or a holiday. But a pilgrimage - in honour of Lucy Maud Montgomery, to Anne, to Gilbert and to the girl I was) to PE Island.

3. Theodore Lawrence.

Ok. Here it gets tricky. My favourite version of the movie is the 1933 adaptation with the amazing Katharine Hepburn, born to play the feisty Jo (one of my first literary hero/role models).

 But Douglass (see, they couldn't even spell his name right) Montgomery was never even close to my version of Teddy.

And as much as I'm NOT a fan of his at all, Christian Bale's Laurie is probably the closest representation I've seen on the silver screen, to the Laurie in my head. Or, you know, my heart.  And no matter how much wiser women than me will argue, I don't know that I'll ever forgive Ms Alcott for having Jo turn Laurie down.  I know, I know why. I know she ended up happy. But she broke my heart. And she broke poor Teddy's.  Amy could never make him happy, not really.  Hey, who knew I was a shipper at 9?

Those were my early, formative loves. :-)

Later, (when I had moved back to civilisation and was able to pick up my love of reading again), I found more romantic heroes in my world of books.

The obvious. Mr Darcy set my heart a-flutter. It wasn't love at first sight though. Just like Lizzie, I resented him and his proud ways, and couldn't bare the thought of her loving that abominable man! (Though when Mr Collins came along, don't you think anyone would have been better?) Of course, the more I read, the further in love I found myself. And then, of course, watching him on my television, all 5 hours of the BBC mini series, just sealed the deal.

But I confess. There are two of Austen's heroes I might love even more. I feel almost guilty every time,(like I should be a good Austen girl and Darcy-is-the-best) but it can't be helped. You love who you love.

Captain Wentworth. His devotion to Anne, for all of those years - his inability to move on, the way he loved her even after she broke his heart;  his letter to her at the end. Sigh. I have that letter almost memorised (I'm not the only one of my bloggy friends who can make this claim!).  "I am half agony, half hope...." sigh. "A man does not recover from such a devotion of the heart to such a woman! He ought not; he does not”.

My Mr Knightley (No, I don't care what Emma says. He's mine!) And I'm afraid, on screen, it MUST be Jeremy Northam. It simply must!

I loved Mr Knightley. I loved that he challenged her, made her want to be better (and not to impress him).

Going further back into mythology - Cupid and Psyche - a tragic tale of true love and overcoming all obstacles to have it.

It is a dream of mine one day to spend days in the Louvre. I want to see this sculpture (1824). It is one of my favourite sculptures ever, second only to Rodin's The Kiss.

In a similar vein, I loved the pairing of Penelope and Odysseus.  What they went through, what they resisted to stay true to their love.

And watching a movie version of it - swoon! Armande Assante and Greta Scacchi play these lovers, kept apart for 20 years!

Almost forgot one! (I love the edit button).  I fell for these two in high school. So much more interesting a relationship that Romeo & Juliet (a debate I had with my English teacher).

Benedick is snarky, and you know if there's one thing I love, it's snark!(Sigh. Jon Stewart..if you're reading {of course you are..we're soul mates} -  leave your lovely wife and children and I shall leave mine and we'll run away together).

I loved this pairing from the very beginning. So much more appealing than Hero and Claudio.

That a woman conceived me, I thank her; that she brought me up, I likewise give her most humble thanks: but that I will hang my bugle in an invisible baldrick, all women shall pardon me. I will live a bachelor

Benedick: I pray thee now tell me, for which of my bad parts didst thou first fall in love with me? Beatrice: For them all together, which maintained so politic a state of evil that they will not admit any good part to intermingle with them: but for which of my good parts did you first suffer love for me? Benedick: Suffer love. a good epithet, I do suffer love indeed, for I love thee against my will. Beatrice: In spite of your heart, I think. Alas poor heart, if you spite it for my sake, I will spite it for yours, for I will never love that which my friend hates Benedick: Thou and I are too wise to woo peaceably. 

Am trying very hard not to go here, lest I lose more than half of my followers. :-)   (Bear with me, the movie is THIS MONTH!!!!!!!!!)

Couples I just couldn't get behind?

Cathy and Heathcliffe - don't even get me started
Romeo and Juliet - I'm afraid I can't bring myself to believe in love at first sight
Tony and Maria - Couldn't even get through one sitting of West Side Story
Scarlett & Rhett - Meh. Could not have cared less about them. Book or movie - unmoved.
Laurie and Amy - just so wrong
Anna Karenina and Count Vronksy - I tried, honestly I did. It just didn't do it for me.
Violetta and Alfredo - Again, have been to see it, but just found it a misery.

What about you? Can you remember your early literary crush(es)? What about as you got older? Are there any male (or female) leads that you immediately think of when you daydream about the ideal man (or woman)?  


Who's your favourite? Did you end up falling in love with anyone like them?