That's Pinteresting..

Joining up with another of my bloggy crushes (We just covered Thea), Tina from www.tinagray.me. Each week we gather some of our favourite pins from Pinterest and show them off on our blogs.

If you haven't joined Pinterest(You can follow me, if you like) yet - you're probably smart. Talk about freaking addictive. If however, you're a masochist and you want in on all of the pretty, I'm an enabler, so let me know your email address and I'll hook you up.

No theme from me this week. Just pictures that I found beautiful.  There can never be too much beautiful.

This dress-it just stood out on the page to me, right away. There is nothing I don't love about this dress.

Source: laurenmagleby.blogspot.com via Melissa on Pinterest

I don't think I even need to explain this one, do I? Breathtaking - a sea of lavender.

Source: piccsy.com via Melissa on Pinterest

Just imagine waking up here every day. Imagine writing here every day!

Source: stylemepretty.com via Melissa on Pinterest

I've wanted to go to the Maldives and stay in a place exactly like this with Joel for the past 15 years! A dream....one day.

Source: shangri-la.com via Melissa on Pinterest

You had me at 'white picket fence'. Throw in these flowers and colours.  Swoon.

Source: hgtv.com via Melissa on Pinterest

Honestly? I feel like this picture is the stuff of dreams. I catch my breath at the thought of being in a place this beautiful. It feels other-wordly.

Source: sunsurfer.tumblr.com via Melissa on Pinterest

I don't know what it is. Generally, unless it's a Willow Tree ornament, I'm not a fan. Maybe it's all of the turquoise jumping out at me recently.  But I wanted him the moment I saw him.

Source: flickr.com via Melissa on Pinterest

And a shout out to my beautiful friend Jenn, from Follow The Gleam - honestly one of the best written blogs I've ever read.  Go over there and HOUND that woman to describe her recent Parisian adventure (can you imagine turning 30 at the top of the Eiffel Tower as a couple gets engaged right near you?). Demand photos! (I've seen them on Facebook, but I doubt she's shown 'em all). I've never seen a person who I think suits a city more than I think that Paris suits Jenn. Even her daughters, one wild and untamed and feisty, the other ethereal, dreamy and I imagine as deep as her mother, (not to mention a delicious little boy) look like they would fit right in - Chanel, berets, scarves.

Source: hisrebekah.tumblr.com via Melissa on Pinterest

Sunday Sessions

Joining Thea's Sunday Sessions today.  And it's not often I devote an entire session to just a single artist, but I am inspired today.

On Friday night, Carly Findlay posted a song from one of my favourite singers, one we don't hear that much from anymore.

This is the song. I was spellbound, the sound of his voice brought back a wash of memories and emotions.  I think this is my favourite song at the moment. And that's after hearing it for just the first time 24 hours ago.



And a couple of older songs that made me fall in love with his voice, and his poetic lyrics.



My sister and I were at their last concert in Australia. This was one of my favourite songs.



I'm pretty sure that this is the concert my sister and I were at.  This song was hard to listen to, it had just recently been used at the funeral of a friend who had committed suicide.





Ok.  I could add another 4 or 5 songs, but I'll stop. I realise not everyone was a fan.

Meh. Screw it. It's my blog. One more favourite - his first Solo. So sexy. Guaranteed to get me in the mood (should you be reading, my love).




Totally off topic ------->>>>>>> That ad on the sidebar there for the Nuffnang awards. I didn't put it there, nor am I being paid for it. But while you're here, head on over and vote for your favourite blog(so), there are several categories.  I think voting is open until November 2.

Weekend Rewind - March 2011

Linking up this week to Multiple Mum's Weekend Rewind. This week we're heading back to earlier in the year again, to March 2011.  Pick out your favourite post from that month (or one you felt didn't really get enough love - my choice this week falls into both categories) and link it up.

From Multiple Mum:

So if you are prepared to get started, the rules of this meme remain the same each week. All you have to do is become my friend, if we are not already acquainted, then link up a relevant post from your archives and get reading and commenting. The more comments the merrier. And don't forget to Tweet, Facebook and/or Stumble your favourites to share the joy with other readers. Try to add a link back to me in your posts so that  we can expand the reach of the Weekend Rewind.

Not a great pic sorry. Joel just snapped it on his phone this afternoon.
Sammy jumping out of the creek to post for Daddy.

This link up is all about my little Sammy Tom. About how he makes me feel, and how delicious he is (though I'll confess, he's going through a stage, since starting back at daycare of guns and pretend weapons that we never had with Alexander. Not loving it), and how he keeps me fighting the black dog.

Mon Petit soleil. My Little Sun.

Speaking of my loves, Joel and the boys went for a trip out past Kenilworth today (about an hour and a half out of Brisbane - Joel and Alexander love camping at Charlie Moreland reserve) and got some beautiful shots of the country side. It is so green out there. So close to us in Brisbane, but such a richer, more verdant green.

It is Joel's dream to live in a place like this. 

Deep green, rolling hills, peace and quiet. Joel's idea of bliss.

Carpet of purple blooms.

Joel knows how I adore Jacaranda trees (as most of my long term readers will know), so he had to stop and get some pics.

Look Mama - smoke!

I'm sorry - what now?

The Queen welcomed 54 heads of Government and Foreign Ministers to an important conference disscussing far ranging issues from the line of succession, to food shortages, climate change and the world's deepening financial crisis.


David Cameron was there. He spoke about the change in Commonwealth law to allow succession to go to the oldest child, regardless of gender. 


Julia Gillard spoke of hopes that this CHOGM meeting would discuss how the Commonwealth would move forward in a 'time of global uncertainty and risk'.


Her Magesty, Queen Elizabeth 2, spoke about "Women as agents of Change", encouraging us 'to allow girls and women to play their full part'.


Protesters gathered to vent their frustration at the issues of Climate Change, the devestating war in the Congo, human rights, and of course the all important debate on the rights of refugees.


Foreign Minister Kevin Rudd spoke not just of famine and food shortages, climate change,  economic crisis and uncertainty, but also health and therefore the threat which communicable diseases and non-communicable diseases represent to the peoples of the Commonwealth. He mentioned the roughly 67 million children of school age who currently are not attending school.  He mentioned the need for improving agricultural productivity, reducing excessive food price volatility and enhancing humanitarian food supply. He answered (kind of) questions about human rights.


Commonwealth Secretary General, General Karmalesh Sharma said that holding CHOGM every 2 years is a chance for Commonwealth leaders to stop and 'take the pulse of the Commonwealth".


Guy Sebastian performed a song he wrote. 





Wait. What? At an important political meeting of heads of state of over 50 nations, we started wtih a musical act? I dont' care if it was Bob Geldolf, U2 or Mariah Freaking Carey (ugh) - you start a business or political conference with Australian Idol? 


Is it just me, or is there something wrong (embarrassingly so) with this picture?

A final update on my boy

Parts 1 and 2 of this saga are in previous posts. If you've no freaking idea what I'm talking about, click on the links.

So we met with the principal this afternoon. I was feeling pretty emotional, there'd been an incident at the classroom when we picked him up, and I was just trying not to cry (will talk about it at the end of this post).

She was lovely, animated and fun with Alexander, reassuring with us. She started by saying that all day yesterday, she'd had the wrong C in her head. There are 2 C's in Year 3, and both of them go to Outside Hours School Care. One of them was a thug. The other, she said, is the sweetest little ASD boy, rather similar to Alexander, though he does have a tendency to lash out when he's over excited and get a bit silly.

It was that one. (Who's "C" name actually starts with a "K". Not confusing at all?).  She said she was so stunned when she found out it was this little boy, she couldn't believe it, so she called him down to her office to talk (even though Deputy normally deals with such matters). She said he was already sobbing by the time he got to her office "I really, really hurt Alexander and I didn't mean to". She asked why he's been chasing Alexander around for weeks now.  "Because I really like him and I just wanted to be his friend. But he keeps running away. I caught him and was trying to play and he was still getting away so I got mad. Now I hurt his mouth and I'm not allowed to go and tell him sorry".

She said her heart broke over his tears, and she was torn, having spent a day falling for Alexander, she was also falling for K. And since this was his first real infringement, I can understand that. He sounds like other ASD kids I know who simply can't understand how to read body language properly and react all wrong in social situations.

To K - the chasing Alexander was a game. To Alexander, being chased was terrifying, threatening. And then the head butt, well that's going to upset anyone.

So what to do. I'm a Mama of a sweet, gentle, sensitive, awkward boy with autism. And now, the 'bad guy' in this story is another sweet, gentle (mostly), sensitive, awkward boy with autism. Who like Alexander, is just so desperate to have a friend.  The same way Alexander felt for the first 8 months of this year, until he finally found himself with 1.

So, much as you may all think I'm an idiot, I can't help it. My heart goes out to this little boy. While not (of course) condoning his behaviour I chose not to ask about punishment.  I know that he received what they termed "a significant 2 day punishment", I have chosen not to ask what that is, or demand more. I am content.

More importantly for me, I found out that Kelly (Principal) and the SEU staff spent a good part of yesterday also looking after little K. And when the counsellor is back next week, she is going to have sessions with both of the boys.

And I hear myself say "Well, I know Alexander. He doesn't have the ability to hold a grudge, even times when he should.  I know that if he finds out K has autism or that K wanted to be his friend, it's all going to be over in his heart, right away. He's going to want to be friends".

Principal looked at us, surprised, I think. And said "Actually, we've all been talking and the two boys (as well as Alexander's other ASD friend, also one of the quiet, gentle ones) have a lot of similar interests. Computers, 'movie-making', board games, library....I suspect by the end of the year, this may be a group of 3 happy boys.

We'll give Alexander time. I spoke to him this afternoon about it. Explained about the autism.  And reminded him of our discussions on body language and on how it can be difficult for people with autism to correctly read body language and social cues. "Ohhhhh. I see what you mean. I think that I saw what I thought was an angry face, but he was just frustrated. And he was running to catch me and play, and I thought he was running to catch me to hurt me". Bingo. Almost. 'But wait. Why did he head butt me then? Why would anyone do that to someone they wanted to be friends with?". Again, for my Alexander it simply is impossible to wrap his head around it. He cannot fathom why someone would deliberately inflict pain on another person -be in in words or deeds.

So we talked a little more about how for some it comes out in different ways. Some people say mean things when they're frustrated (Alexander has a tendency, just these past few months) to lash out and raise his voice to me when he's feeling powerless (so when I've pulled out the big guns and am 'forcing' him do do something he doesn't want to do - stop his game, clean his room, do his homework - all usually after he's had a bad day at school).  Others lash out with their fists (he remembers a time he did this with me earlier this year, and still cries at the memory of having seriously hurt me).

Others think they're playing (boyish, rough house) without knowing when to stop and when the other person doesn't find it fun anymore.

He listened intently, and after a few minutes said "Well, I guess we both misunderstood each other's body language".

Just like that. well, maybe not just like that. But just like that for now. Alexander processes these things in stages, so no one is keen to push this issue yet, and certainly not before he's had a few days, and some chats with the school counsellor.

I know after Wednesday's initial anger and outrage and Mama bear reaction, this seems like a backdown. But I can't help that I'm having the teeniest, tiniest mama bear reaction FOR K. Sometimes I think that rather than going straight for the throat, sometimes we ASD Mums and Dads need to stick together. It can be so hard when your child is the different one, not invited to parties, not included in games, and not understanding why.

I feel so sad for him. It's Term 4 and he doesn't have a friend of his own. I battled with the deepest sadness for Alexander all year because he had noone. And I saw it lead to depression in my son. I've heard, so many times him describe 2011 as "The year my life was ruined". All because he lost a friend.  I don't want another child to feel this way, not if there's a way we can work it out.

So that's what we're going to try to do. Work it out.

*The 'incident' in his classroom has broken this Mama's heart. As most of you know, I lost a large percentage of my vision in May. Leaving me almost legally blind, and unable to drive. Ever again. Heartbreaking for a lot of reasons. And one of them was that I would not be able to take Alexander to school anymore. I wouldn't be able to touch base properly with his teachers, the admin staff, see him in his classroom, help with reading. They sound like stupid things to be upset about, to Mums who hate the school run. But have even the possibility of it taken away from you, forever, and it's a whole other story.

I knew it upset Alexander. We've talked about it before. He understands, but I know it upsets him.  I had no idea just how much until today.

We waited at the classroom door for the bell to go.  He meandered out (as he always does, head in the clouds, holding up the show) when he looked up and spotted me. He actually gasped, and ran into my arms so hard I was thrown back. He just held on, for minutes. Until I finally raised his head up to look at his face.  And I saw a face I know. Unshed tears. "Are these happy tears or sad tears, my darling?" I ask.  He couldn't get the word 'happy' out before literally burying his head into me again and sobbing. At which point Joel and I were doing our level best not to join him. He cried into my top, not letting go, not showing his face, wetting my shirt with those tears....

'I just can't believe you're really here again. How did you get here? How are you here? I can't believe you're picking me up again. I can't believe it. I didn't know you were coming". Over and over, crying, not caring who was watching. Students, parents, teachers all walking by, double taking at our moment, assuming someone'd had a bad day.

My heart feels like it has a brick in it. That me showing up at the school once (it has been about 2-3 months since I was last there) could have such a profound effect. He did not let me go. We walked, clumsily to the office for our meeting with him stopping every few seconds to kiss my hand, my arm, whatever he could reach.

Worst.Mother.Ever. Sweetest little boy ever. I think I felt a piece of my heart break right off this afternoon.

An Alexander Update

Okay. So this was taken a long time ago. But I don't have any photos. THIS however, is the type of smile my boy came home from school with yesterday. It's a long story, but we'll get there.

First things first I guess. For every single on of you who left me messages on Wednesday night on Twitter, on Facebook and on my post here, thank you. I menan that sincerely. Thank you. For caring about Alexander. For caring about me. It was in evidence that night, and again yesterday and I'm grateful for each message. I'm grateful for your tears, your anger on Alexander's behalf and your encouragement of me (so I knew I wasn't just being a helicopter parent).

I waited until I had calmed a little.  I wrote a letter to the Principal.  Most names have been changed here to just First letters, for obvious reason, and I'm not naming the school.

Hi Kelly,

My son Alexander (2/3D) was the subject of (yet another) assault yesterday by another student. This child's name is C and he is in year 3. (I am fairly certain that L (VP) would be aware of the incident, I know the child received a slip).

This child has been harrassing Alexander (Following him around, trying to pick fights with him, pushing him around) for some time, and I know that Alexander had difficulties with him at Vacation Care (not your problem, I realise. Am just providing some context). Alexander does his level best to stay away from C at all times (he is frightened of him) and tried yesterday to walk away and ignore him.

Today he has the bruise around his upper right arm, where C gripped him and held him down while he head butted Alexander in the face, splitting his bottom lip. Alexander's teeth were still hurting last night at bed time.

My concern is this. Last year, another student cornered Alexander in the junior toilets (during class time), got him on his hands and knees and stomped on his back (enough to leave a decent bruise) and threatened him if he told. (Alexander is on the Autism Spectrum, and very literal, as well as being a)very submissive and b)desperate to please). So he didn't tell. Fortunately, another student told B (their teacher last year, who was wonderful). Unfortunately, I don't feel that the school can say the same. The most this child (a frequent flier, shall we say, up in the office) got was detention and a 'talking to'. In my opinion, he ought to have been suspended. Only days later another child WAS suspended, for throwing a rock. Which hit noone. Hurt noone. But was considered dangerous behaviour.

Only days later, another child punched Alexander in the face. Same consequence. I tried (we met for an interview/discussion) to talk to L(VP) about this last year and got nowhere. Like so many other parents facing the same issues.

Now again, it is looking like the same is going to happen. The school didn't even see fit to call Joel or myself to let us know about yesterday's incident (and in my opinion, if you strike someone hard enough to draw blood, it is an assault) and when Joel picked Alexander up in his classroom yesterday afternoon, noone took him aside then either. Joel was in the office yesterday, and then in the classroom and not one teacher/admin staff etc felt it worth telling him). We had to hear about it from Alexander himself. He may have attempted to hold it together at school but believe me, he was not able to do so at home as he cried in my arms.

He does not understand that people are sometimes just bullies. He honestly sees only the good in people (he isn't angry at C). He honestly believes that all he has to do is be nice to people and they will like him, and it will all work out. He has been on the receiving end of bullying fromother students (in less physical ways, more teasing, encouraging others not to play with him, trying to get him into trouble with the teacher, stealing school supplies/hats/ drink bottles etc) all year.

How do I look him in the eye and repeatedly tell him that he did the right thing. That saying "Stop I don't like that", telling a teacher and walking away from trouble is the right thing. That if he does these things he will be looked after? Because I'm lying to him. I honestly feel like I'm lying to him now, when I know he ISN'T being looked after.

I keep getting told by various members of faculty "You need to toughen him up", "He's just the perfect target for bullies", as though this makes it HIS fault or MY fault. Why should Alexander have to change who HE is because other children are choosing to physically assault him or harass him?

What happened to a zero tolerance policy on bullying? What exactly do you define as 'zero tolerance'? For that matter, how does the school define 'bullying'? And those aren't rhetorical questions. I would honestly appreciate an answer, and any written policies the school/education department has on this issue emailed to me. If there is an incident report about yesterday, I'd also appreciate a copy of that, as soon as possible.

I left a message with K (admin officer) in the office asking for L to call me this morning. I've changed my mind. I would rather bypass everyone else and deal with you about this. I believe I will receive the same cookie-cutter message from Larry that I always have (contrary to how it may sound right now, as I'm upset, I genuinely like L. I just do not at this point have any faith in his ability or interest in protecting my child). I believe the school is failing in it's duty of care (and not just with my child. I realise this is a problem you inherited, it has been a long term problem at SCHOOL NAME).

I know this is long, drawn out and probably appears unnecessarily emotional, Kelly. But I'm honestly just fuming at the situation and I'm so tired of accepting the same answers every time this happens. I'm tired of my child, who has not misbehaved a single time since he started at this school (check with his teachers; A-M, B and G) being the one that gets 'picked on'.

I would also like him to have the opportunity to meet with the school guidance counsellor today, if she is available, to talk this out and be reassured that he is not at fault and that the problem will be dealt with. Other than Sally (GC), any discussions with Alexander today about this incident are only to be with G (Current teacher). If it comes from either you or L, he WILL think he is in trouble and he WILL tell you what he thinks you want to hear (unfortunately this is not uncommon with Alexander {the ultimate people pleaser} and other ASD children). If those options are not suitable, Joel and I can be at the school any time tomorrow from 2pm to be present (I am legally blind and unable to drive, or I would be at the school myself today).

Obviously, I realise you'll need to get up to speed with L, G and the teacher that found Alexander yesterday (on yard duty at lunch) before you can reply. But I'd very much appreciate a response from the school by the end of the school day.

Thank you,

Melissa Mitchell

It was pointed out to me later (and I can see the truth in it) that my letter was far too emotional. That it would have been smarter to just be straight to the point. Make my demands and take all emotion out. Unfortunately I had already sent the letter (note to self: next time ask for advice BEFORE pressing Send) and there was little I could do about it.

She emailed me back 10 minutes later (about 8.40, so a busy time in the Admin block) with a copy of the school's bullying policy (it was looooooong, but I read the entire thing) and a quick "Thanks for bringing this to my attention, I'll get back to you). I expected to hear very little from her, expected to be fobbed off.  I was all set to send a letter to the Department of Education if I hadn't heard back by lunch.

Half an hour I had my next response. She'd spoken to Admin staff, the Deputy Principal, the teacher who found Alexander and Alexander's teacher.  (not bad in half an hour).  What followed were more than a dozen emails between us over the day.  I'm obviously not going to reprint hers without permission, but I can give you the gist of it.


First off, there were some corrections to be made. Alexander's story WAS backed up, he had tried to walk away and C had followed him and headbutted him.  No question. Usually the school's procedure is for the teacher to give the child a slip and to put it in the folder at the end of her shift and the admin staff pass it on to Mr G (the deputy, who handles disclipline).  In this case, the teacher had called someone to take her place, had taken Alexander to the office herself and walked the slip immediately into the DP office asking him to get onto this one immediately as she felt it was serious.

DP had that and another serious case to deal with that afternoon, so once Alexander was settled, ice pack removed etc, he was taken back to his classroom with the safety of his own teacher (other child is not in his class).

Kelly (principal) started by asking me if she could try to continue to build her rapport with Alexander (she had spent some sessions with him before when he was at the Unit, just playing games with him, chatting etc). She promised that she wouldn't bring him to her office, she'd do it on neutral ground, probably the library, his favourite place in the school.  She wanted to do this becuase the Guidance Counsellor only spends 2 days a week at the school, and is at another school the rest of the time.  She won't be available until NEXT Tuesday, and none of us wanted to wait that long for Alexander to have someone to talk to.

So, I agreed. I was a little concerned that he would be upset, being called out of class by the principal, but she handled it pretty well. She came down to his classroom and said she needed a helper to rearrange some of the furniture in the brand new library (the school has JUST opened their brand, spanking new library, complete with new books, a green screen/movie making area, more computers, a Wii area, a board game area, specialised chess tables etc, sofas....Alexander raves about it).  So of course, he put up his hand and and of course, she chose him.  Sigh of relief. She got him out and alone without anyone thinking he was in trouble (more importantly, without him thinking he was in trouble).