Anne girl was right.

I saw this tweet this evening and it rang true. "Tomorrow is a new day {year} with no mistakes in it yet." It's Anne Shirley talking to Marilla.

I'm not going to do a recap of 2011. Suffice it to say, there are very few people I know for whom it wasn't horrendous. Let's not dwell. Onwards and upwards. I've decided not to look backwards tonight but forwards into what hopefully is going to be a wonderful year.

My goals for this year are relatively straight forward (though not all easy).

I want to get on top of my health issues. It will mean dropping the extra weight from the prednisone, and probably another 25 after that. It will probably mean following the advice of my GP and my Rheumatologist and having surgery.

I won't talk numbers (because I'm not really sure of a number) but I want to drop at least 2 dress sizes. And I want to be brave enough to buy something bold and red by the end of the year. I want to wear more colours I love - whites, soft pinks, soft yellows.

Source: bourbonandpearls.tumblr.com via Melissa on Pinterest

Finish Sam's assessments for autism. Need to get on top of that quickly.

Settle in and make this house a home. I'm in love with it already, but my head is filled with the little touches that will make me love it more.

Blog. Blog often and well. Be interesting, engaging and true to me. No advertising, pleas for votes, chasing stats. Just blogging. Like I used to.

Stop waiting til I'm better to get on with my life. This flare up, or whatever is going on has robbed me of more than 18 months. Enough. I'll find ways to get out of the house. Find things that make me happy. Find ways to make other people happy.

Source: indie-handmade.blogspot.com via annie on Pinterest

I promised Joel I would try to be more social, try to get out more. I want to complain to him less about the pain - push through it and go with him when he takes the boys out on their weekend adventures (well ok. Some of them).

I want to read even more. I have a list of 30 books I want to read this year. The others can fit in as they take my fancy. I want to read at least 52 books again this year. And every year. I may look into a Kindle or a Kobo (probably the latter) so I can read when I'm out. I miss going everywhere with a book.

Starting with these, Again.P.E Island seems like the very best place in the world to start wtih the happy.<3<3

Source: google.com via Melissa on Pinterest

I want to get back into baking. But less chocolate. More oats and more healthful cooking all around for the entire family.

Source: katheats.com via Melissa on Pinterest

Whatever robbed me of my sweet tooth and provided me an aversion to all but about half a dozen foods - I hope it stays. I can live on ice, honest. It has to be good.

I want to be brave enough to go to the Conference in March and not hide from the world. I will still be bloated from the Pred/Cushings. I had hoped it would be gone but it's not. I have to accept that that's the first impression everyone will get of me, and then throw caution to the wind and make them like me anyway. :)

But mostly. I want to spend more GOOD quality time with Joel and the boys. More family days out. More time with just Joel and I. More time with my Sister in law Tammy, and watching our children play together in the cubby. I want to take care of Dad and Koko.

It sounds like a lot of things. But with the exception of one, they're all relatively small and simple. They just require motivation. Reminding myself that there is much to be happy about, I just have to get up and look for it!

So here's to 2012 and looking for it! May we all find a piece of it together.

Source: laurawinslowphotography.com via Melissa on Pinterest

Around the Year in 52 books.

Source: littlebookshoparoundthecorner.tumblr.com via Melissa on Pinterest

If you've been reading a while, you may have seen a few updates as a friend and I set ourselves the challenge earlier this year, of reading 52 books in 2011. She breezed through with 57! Not bad for a mother of 3 children under 6.


I stumbled a little in the middle of the year, as my eyesight diminished so greatly, and have had to finish the year with my computer. All of my books now are e-books and it's not as portable. (Yes, I know that at some point I may consider a Kindle. I just have to get a decent look at one and make sure it's big enough for me to see properly. Portable is great, but I have to be able to read it with out scrolling three times to finish a sentence). 


I did download an program for my computer though that converts all kinds of e-books and lets me read them here. Calibre (Thank you Simone) has been a saviour to me. Honestly, going from being the girl who never left the house without a book to not being able to read school newsletters and patient forms at the Doctor's surgery hurt me more than I can say. And while Calibre is great, it doesn't take away from the deep sense of loss I feel. I'll never again walk into a bookstore and just buy whatever I want. Read easily to my children. Smell old books while exploring a second hand bookstore.  I think I've yet to really deal with that. For now though..on to the challenge update.


I haven't updated in a while, so I'm not even sure if I made the 52. My last proper update was in October, and I still haven't changed the "What I'm reading on my sidebar" (Someone remind me to do that tomorrow?).


So. Without reviewing them all (I reviewed a bit in the other updates, but this is just a quickie), here are the books I managed to read in 2011. Some are old favourites, that I simply can't help but read again. Some are new favourites that may well get re-read again next year.

1.  What Alice Forgot - Liane Moriaty

2.  Paradise House - Erica James

3.  Handbags and Gladrags - Maggie Alderson

4.  Life Swap - Jane Green

5. Seven Ancient Wonders - Matthew Reilly

6.  Six Sacred Stones - Matthew Reilly

7.  Five Ancient Warriors - Matthew Reilly

8. An Amish Gathering - Beth Wiseman, Kathleen Fuller and Barbara Cameron

9. The Covenant - Beverly Lewis

(It was around this time that my first eye issues began. So what followed were some woeful large-print books from the library).

10. How to Knit a Love Song - Rachael Herron

11. Songs of the West - Nora Roberts.

12. The Future Scrolls - Fern Michaels

13.  The Land of Summer - Charlotte Bingham

14. Sister's Choice - Emilie Richards

15.  She's the One - Cathy Kelly

16.  The Italian Wedding - Nicky Pellegrino

17.  Sowing the Seeds of Love - Tara Heavey

18.  The Glassblower of Murano - Marina Foriato

19.  Catch-22 - Joseph Heller (I don't know why this is coming out in a different colour. I'm C&Ping).

20. What she wants - Cathy Kelly

21. The Spare Room - Helen Garner.

22. Always Looking Up - The Adventures of an incurable Optimist - Michael J.Fox

23. The Wife of Martin Guerre - Janet Lewis

24. The Best Advice I Ever Got - Katie Couric

25 - Rumour Has It - Jill Mansell.

26. The Paris Wife - Paula McClain

27. Sweet Valley Confidential - Ten Years Later

Then the trailers started coming out for Twilight Breaking Dawn. So. There was this (and I forgot one in that update).

28. Twilight

29. Twilight-New Moon

30. Twilight - Eclipse

31. Twilight Breaking Dawn

32. Twilight - The Second short life of Bree Tanner

Shut.Up. It could be worse. I could be watching Jersey Shore. ;-) Having said that, I did feel the need to step it up a little. Therefore:

33. Northanger Abbey - Jane Austen

34. Much Ado about Nothing - William Shakespeare

35. Figuring out Fibromyaglia - Dr Geneva Liptan

36. The Bought Wife - Juliet Landon (the problem with e-books or large print? You don't always see a cover that says "This is a crappy Mills and Boon type book that you would not have even read when you were 13).

37. Fortune's Rocks - Anita Shreve

38.The Last Time I saw You. - Elizabeth Berg

39.The Great Gatsby - F.Scott Fitzgerald

40. The Apocethary's Daughter - Julie Klassen

41. The Last Time They Met - Anita Shreve

42. How Will I Know? - Sheila O'Flanagan

43 - Then Came You - Julia Weiner

44. Stories I only tell my friends. Rob Lowe

45. The Secret Life of Dresses - Erin McKean

46. Little Women - Lousia May Alcott

47. Girl's Night In - Assorted Short Stories (this is the size of 2 books. HUGE. Loved it). 

48. I am Nujood age 10 and divorced - Nujood Ali and Delphine Minoui
49. Dancing in Low Country - James Villas 
50. Persuasion - Jane Austen (because I read it every year).
51. Pockets of Happiness - Naomi Ellis
52. Thinking in Pictures: And other reports from my life with Autism - Temple Grandin




Whoa.  Scraped it in. I'm currently reading Prey  by Michael Crichton. It's an old one I've read before, but right now I'm too tired to go for anything new. I'll be back in the new year with some of the books I really want to read in 2012 (there are over 500 books sitting in my e-reader. I'm never going to get them all read).

Source: roomzaar.com via Samantha on Pinterest

Jasmine and Mist

15 years ago tonight, at about 9pm, I stood in the misting rain with the man I loved. He'd been my best friend for more than a year. He'd declared his love for me 12 short weeks before. We'd known, right away that there would be no 'dating'. Not 'getting to know' each other. We were the type of best friends who knew the good and the bad. We'd talked about unrequited loves, we'd talked about our families, what we wanted when we finally found the one. We'd talked about marriage and children and religion and money and jobs and politics (I have too many opinions, he has too few,lol). We'd had months of no-one believing for a moment that we weren't in love, no matter what we said (we were telling the truth. Maybe? We weren't in a relationship at all though) and then wanting to know why the hell not.

 I was far to frightened and skittish to even let myself go there with Joel. He was off limits. It would have been to take the biggest risk - to take an incredibly happy, easy, meaningful relationship and change the dynamic.

But there was no helping it. He told me he loved me. I argued. We argued. I couldn't mess with things, everything was just perfect the way it is. And there was a part of me who still believed that I would not marry early. That men my age would not see past a size 16 figure. He had never been attractive to anyone like me before, why would he be now? No. Best to leave things alone.

I wrote him a letter explaining why I didn't want a relationship (except for the "I'm unlovable" part). He was on my doorstep the next morning. He kissed me again. Strongly, purposefully. Determined. And as my arms made my way from his chest to around his neck, playing with the soft curls there, it was done. All too late. We were helplessly in love.

We knew, from the very beginning of our romance, this was a forever love. We could settle for nothing less. It was to take the biggest risk of all - to take an incredibly happy, easy, meaningful friendship and changing the dynamic.

And we knew, that sooner rather than later, we would wed.

Still. There has to be that moment, doesn't there? A moment when a beautiful and wistful idea becomes something more. Words are spoken, 6 words that turn a lovely thought as I fall asleep at night, missing him already; into something real, deliberate, decisive.

I was giddy from the rain (I'm easily pleased). I was talking a mile a minute while he smiled indulgently at me (not a lot has change there, sorry Baby). I suspected, though it would be years before I told him I'd known.  But know I did..his eyes gave it away. He had a look on his face like he just couldn't wait anymore. It had to be now.

And I stood there, and there were but a few thoughts in my normal frantic head. I knew we were in it. It was unplanned. As in, unplanned for this moment. I knew he didn't have the ring yet. But I knew this was it. And it was almost like a soft focus, though I remember details.  I could smell rain and jasmine. To this day it is one of my favourite scents, and it never fails to take me back to that night.

I was so happy to be getting the soft shower from above, almost feeling like God's blessing on this moment. We were outside and I loved that despite the light mist, we could still see the stars. I smelled Joel's aftershave - Obsession. Just a hint of it. He wore a long sleeved, dark blue dress shirt, and black dress pants.. That blue is still my favourite colour to see him in. I have no idea what I wore. I can't find it in myself to care.

There was no soft music. There were no fireworks. There was no public declaration of love (oh, I will never thank him enough for that. I find them cute for other people. Mortifying for me). There was just a boy, down on one knee, asking a girl to marry him. And 15 years ago tonight, I said Yes.

I don't have our proposal on tape of course, but they're on my mind. I love a soppy love story and a teary proposal.  Here's some videos for you, just for something happy to watch today.

(He can't sing, but I'll confess. I got teary. I'm blaming the hormones).

Source: youtube.com via Meagan on Pinterest

A funny one...

Source: weheartit.com via Melissa on Pinterest

Source: etsy.com via Melissa on Pinterest

Source: google.com via Melissa on Pinterest

It's been 15 years since that perfect moment. He's given me a thousand more perfect moments. He's still the love of my life. I love you Joel, even more than I did that night, under the stars, in the mist.

Blogger Interviews 4 - Seven Cherubs

Now that the fuss seems the be dying down and it's business as usual (almost) here, I thought we could get back to our Blogger Interviews. So far I've interviewed Jodie, Alyce and Lisa.

Today, I'm happy to bring you an interview with one of Queensland's top bloggers, Naomi from Seven Cherubs. 

Seven Cherubs - Blogger Interviews

Tell us something about yourself. In as many or as few words as you like. Who are you?

Hello, my name is Naomi and I am stay at home mother and blogger. I am a chocolate lover, kitchen dancer, jewellery addict, commuter bus driver, happiness seeker, home decorator and motherhood advocate. I am also a Mormon. Yes, I am the mother of seven children or cherubs as we like to call them and I am also the wife to a wonderful spunky man, Matt. We have four girls and three boys, with one set of twin boys just to make life interesting. We had seven children in nine years. It was insane, it was intense and it was busy. Many lessons were learned during this time and I love to share what we know.

Image from www.sevencherubs.com

How long have you been blogging? What made you decide to sit         down and actually start blogging. Did you find it easy to settle into, or a struggle at first?


I have been blogging for nearly 2 years on my seven cherubs blog and I first started Seven Cherubs to keep my family updated on what was happening in our lives as they all live interstate. I have always wanted to write in a public forum but was too scared. At the beginning of having a blog, I hid behind my children (meaning I only wrote about them) until I felt brave enough to share my own voice, my own thoughts and opinions in relation to motherhood and what was in my heart. Now I just say what I feel and don’t hold back.


What do you like to blog about?

I love to blog about being a mother, happiness and anything that relates to being a woman. I especially love to blog about chocolate, jewellery and shoes!

Source: etsy.com via Melissa on Pinterest

When you were 10, what did you want to be when you grew up?

I wanted to be an archeologist as I was fascinated with history. This fascination from a young age led me on to my degree where one of my majors is in history.

What is your favourite: colour/book/tv show/movie/flower

My favourite colour is blue

My favourite book is currently The Hobbit

My favourite TV show - hardly watch TV but I love Life - the American crime show

My favourite movie - Cheaper by the Dozen {my boys LOVE this movie, but Sammy can't say it properly so he calls it "CheekyBuggerDozen"-all in one world. :D }

My favourite flower - Oriental Lily

Source: google.com via elise on Pinterest

If you could do or be anything you wanted, what would you choose?

I tell you I am currently living my dream. I have always wanted to be a stay at home mum and to write. Being a blogger allows me to do that. Maybe a jewellery blogger as well but I kind of do that anyway. Totally happy.

Tell me something about your first {real} kiss. What was his name? How old were you? Was it nice?

First kiss. Hmmm...I was scared, he was a little older than me and he was a good friend. Tragically several years later he killed himself. He died young and remembering my first kiss always makes me feel sad. {I'm so sorry to hear that, Naomi}

What are you blogging goals for 2012?

To keep writing and to meet more awesome people. I also have another ebook I am currently writing and hope to share in 2012.

Do you have any special plans or resolutions personally for next year?

Work on my own health more. To increase my fitness and to get to bed earlier! {Yes, Ms Up-All-Night!}

If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you choose, and why?

On the beach any where in Australia. I love the smell, the waves and the view of the ocean. It calms me and I would love to live near it.

What inspires you? In your life? In your blog?

My family and especially my children. They inspire me to be better and to reach inside myself to improve daily. I am also inspired by the many wonderful readers of my blog. The comments they leave touch my heart.

Do you have a favourite blog, or a blog/site you go to that just makes you feel good?

I love the blog 71 Toes. I visit every day. It is the only blog I visit every single day.

An oldie but a goodie – You get to have dinner with 5 people, past, present or fictional. Who do you choose?

1. Shawni Pothier from 71 toes blog so I can chat to her about being a mother 2. Julie B Beck a women’s leader from my church who I admire so I can talk to her about inspiring women 3. Chantelle from Fat Mum Slim as I have not met her yet and I can chat to her about blogging 4. Brene Brown to chat about self love and 5. Gretchin Rubin to talk about happiness

Is there something (besides blogging of course ) that you’re really good at? Or, conversely – really bad at?

I am bad at singing. Seriously bad. I have been told that no-one could help me learn to sing! However, I am really good at home decorating. People always comment on the way I have decorated my home and how I have used different colours through out my home. I love doing it as well.

Plug your blog. Tell us a little bit about it.

Seven Cherubs is about mothering, parenting, happiness and womanhood. It is about inspiring women to believe in themselves, creating moments of happiness and believing that we can make a difference as mother’s. Pop on over and say Hi!

Naomi is a blogger, writer, chocolate lover, kitchen dancer, jewellery addict, commuter bus driver, happiness seeker, home decorator and motherhood advocate. She blogs at www.sevencherubs.com and recently wrote her first ebook, Pockets of Happiness. You can also find her on facebook and twitter.

Image from www.sevencherubs.com

A trip down Memory Lane - I'll be seeing you.

Lori from RRSAHM today posted a link to an old Muse Wars challenge she wrote.  A couple of  years ago I started a challenge. We would choose a photo, and everyone was invited to come up with a piece of Flash Fiction (no real word limit, most were between 500-1000 words).

I miss that. This is part of what I was talking about when I said that I wanted to go back to my real writing. Do you know, I haven't written a piece of fiction in over 2 years? I don't know if it's the medication or just my confidence, but not really anything since the BiPolar dx.

I want to remedy that in 2012. Not necessarily every week. Maybe I'll do one every month. Or maybe just whenever the mood strikes me.  I just know I'll have to be more aware, more accepting and ready for the Muse when she strikes me.

So. Linking up to the same one Lori linked to. It's actually one of my favourites.  I hope you enjoy it.

(NOTE: The photo on top is the photo we were all working with. Karen from Menopausal Mumma chose it).

He stumbled, just for a moment. On what, he wasn't sure, and he couldn't bring himself to care. An arm reached out, ready to steady him and for a second he forgot, and let himself grab it. The hand was soft, but those fingers too long, and when he looked down he could see they belonged to his daughter. He flinched, forcing himself not to pull away, not to hurt her feelings. But those were the wrong hands. He didn't want any other hands.

Slowly he made his way up the hill, his son and daughter hovering at either side of him. Why, oh why did they have to be here for this? He knew it was their right, they needed it too. But oh, how he needed silence right now, a last moment with her, in their special place.

The wind rushed through the long grass, almost flattening it, and his mind took him back to this exact spot, nearly 50 years ago. The first time he'd laid down a picnic blanket, and held his hand out to hers. The awe as she smiled, and placed her hand in his, and sat down before him. His nervousness, trying to decide just how close to her he could sit.

Just a couple of months later with a chill in the air and both of them bundled up in coats and gloves, in a halting whisper, he'd told her he loved her. Her eyes shone as she threw her arms around him, laughing as she returned the sentiment. She wasn't nearly as nervous as him, it was as though she already knew. She probably did. She always knew him better than he knew himself, always seemed to be a step ahead of him, especially in matters of the heart.

The spring came, bringing with it wildflowers and diamonds, promises of forever. Another blanket, carving out a flat spot for them within the tall grass, and they had made love for the first time. Still, decades later, the best day of his life. So much love, so much joy, so much to look forward to.

They'd been wed in a church, of course, though both had fought for this very spot, so sacred to them both. Hair blowing in the wind, the tall grass bending to it's will, the ocean below them. But this spot remained 'theirs'. This was the place they declared their love, consecrated it and they had come back here, year after year, bringing with them children and grandchildren.

And now, here he was. Joints protesting the walk up the hill, body oh so changed from the first time he'd come here with her. The town below them had changed over the years, but this spot had remained untouched.

Almost.

His eyes narrowed in surprise as he spotted a lonely wooden bench, perched at the top of their hill. He and Sarah had been here just 2 years ago, for their 45th wedding anniversary, and this had not been there. He bristled at the thought of someone else being here, and his heart broke at the thought of this place changing.

But of course it had changed. Would be forever changed. What good was it without her here to share it. He stopped, suddenly sure he didn't want to do this anymore. He couldnt' do it if their hill had changed. It felt wrong. He clutched the small vessel to his chest and felt tears pricking his eyes. His son placed a hand on his shoulder, willing him forward. "Just look, Dad". He'd never wanted to run away from anything more in his life.

A few more steps, and they were standing behind the bench. There was a small plaque.

Sarah Alice Gorman

1940 - 2009

Who so loves believes the impossible.

He stared, his brain unable to grasp what was before him. He looked up at his son and daughter. How?

"We finally got it up here a few weeks ago. She wanted it, for you. She wanted you to sit here, after she was gone. To sit with her. She said she knew you'd come, and she didn't want you on the ground", his daughter's chuckle matched his own. That was so...Sarah. Always a step ahead. Always thinking of him.

His trembling fingers traced her name and the quote, her favourite. It was perfect. Or as perfect as anything could be once you'd lost the love of your life. He'd woken every morning since she'd died last winter, just wishing he could have gone with her. Wondered how long he'd have to wait to be with her once more. And now, today, a year to the day since she'd left them, he had to somehow scatter her ashes, let the wind take her away from him yet again. He couldn't imagine actually letting her slip through his fingers that way, having no part of her left.

"Why don't you just sit a while, Dad. We don't have to do this right away". He nodded, clutching the urn, and sat on her bench. The bench that would bear her name forever, long after he'd joined his love again.

He sat that way, listening to the wind, watching the water below. Lost in memories. His daughter pressed a button, and suddenly Billie Holiday was crooning their song.

His eyes closed. He let the tears fall, tracing their way down the lines on his face.

Here. Now. In this place. To this song. It was time.

 

Let me know if you'd be interested in joining in again if we do restart next year. We can take it in turns to choose the following challenge picture.

A little nostalgia..



Feeling a bit nostalgic this morning, thinking about my Mum.  I was watching my boys "tango" (you have to be there. But it's so ridiculous, they never fail to end up a tangle of limbs on the floor, laughing too hard!).  I was just thinking of how much she'd love to see that.  And how much she'd love to see Alexander's imagination, and how he has to write everything down, stories, ideas, 'screenplays', signs, letters. All of it. 

Got me thinking about how I love to write, and how my mother loved my writing. She was always telling me I needed to take it far more seriously, back in high school (when I sooo wanted to, but was in a school where there wasn't really provisions for anything but the absolute basics - a tiny school in the middle of the Northern Territory).

And I remembered an old post, a letter I'd written to her.  I don't know if there's a weekend rewind on today, but I imagine not, the day before Christmas.  So I'm having my own.  There are some new readers (no, I don't mean those new readers) who won't know much about me or my blog, or my Mum - the reason I started this blog.

So here's a little insight into her. Enjoy (I hope).

This photo was taken during her 'breakdown'. One of a rare few good days. Around the time her journal was written.

And again. Have a safe and wonderful holiday. Be careful on the roads. And for my NT friends (Ok, mostly I mean you, Mellie) I hope the cyclone leaves you guys alone. Stay safe.

Back!

source

Well that was fast. We moved in yesterday (well, by moved in, not a lot of boxes are unpacked, but I can't move today, so they're probably going to stay that way for a few hours yet) and Joel hooked up my computer last night "just in case". We have moved a few times over the years, and I can say that we've never been back online in less than a week, once or twice it took 4-6 weeks!

So imagine the shock when at 9.30 last night it was already done! Faster than the company had promised. (So a quick plug for PacNet who not only do we have a fabulous deal with, but has always had wonderful customer service and now has given us even FASTER internet than we had - we were expecting slower). And no. I'm not advertising or being paid to say this,lol. Still sticking to my promise. I'm taking a minimum of 6 months off from advertising or sponsored posts.

It feels good to be in though. The boys are desperately in love with their new cubby house We couldn't get them inside until after 7.30, they'd been there since 4ish, so that's a long time for my indoor-boy Alexander! They were both out there again by 7.30am.

Bad light, real estate pic. I'll get a better one when I can find the camera. There's a sandpit underneath.



Anyway, just touching base to say I'm back online. Even in the day I was away, and despite what I said in my last post, there have still been lots of comments on "that" post. As I closed comments on them, they are being left all over the place.

Please note, they still come to my inbox, and I still delete them as they come in. To be fair, I delete the nice ones too. If it directly refers to that post, it goes. You're welcome to tell me you hate me and I'm a fat, disgusting whore who should die. As long as you don't reference any other blog while you do it. ;-)

For everyone who responded and sent back their blogger interview, or who are lined up to do guest posts....I'm holding off. For your sakes. I don't want your blogs getting spammed with horrible comments. So for now, as much as I'd like to use them, I'm doing you a favour...trust me. :-)  I just don't want you to think I'm ignoring you.

That's it for today. Let's hope things die down soon enough and things can go back to normal, with people chosing what blogs they like to read, and sticking to them.

Take care everyone. Have a SAFE, wonderful holiday.

(Kind of) Wordless Wednesday

Source: damnyouautocorrect.com via Jonathan on Pinterest

Source: Uploaded by user via Krista Lee on Pinterest

Source: iwastesomuchtime.com via Brittanii on Pinterest

DYAC is my favourite site in the world now.

Source: failblog.org via Melissa on Pinterest

Source: epicwtfs.com via Melissa on Pinterest

Source: etsy.com via Melissa on Pinterest

Source: humorswitch.com via Melissa on Pinterest

Source: jyhslibrary.tumblr.com via Clair on Pinterest

Source: etsy.com via Dawne on Pinterest

Telling words from the woman herself.

I was 'blessed' enough to actually get a direct comment from Xiaxue on Twitter today. I'd like to share it with you.


First she stated to someone that she believed me to be suicidal. 

Xiaxue ♥‿♥ Xiaxue ★彡 

@ 

@jrumpun I honestly believe she might commit suicide... Her life really seems to suck. :X

15 hours ago Favorite Retweet Reply

My reply:

Melissa4444 Things I'd Tell You 

@ 

@Xiaxue @jrumpun Me not liking your blog is enough to make me commit suicide? Wow. You really ARE influential! ;-)

2 hours ago Favorite Reply Delete

And hers: A quick 1, 2, 3!

Xiaxue ♥‿♥ Xiaxue ★彡 

@ 

@Melissa4444 no cunt, once again you display your inability to understand written words. It's the reaction from my readers.

1 hour ago Favorite Retweet Reply

Xiaxue ♥‿♥ Xiaxue ★彡 

@ 

@Melissa4444 but since you appear strong enough, I'd say it's all that shit that already happened to you PLUS the reaction from my readers.

1 hour ago Favorite Retweet Reply

Xiaxue ♥‿♥ Xiaxue ★彡 

@ 

@Melissa4444 I would never say anyone deserves what happened to you to happen to them, but if it HAD to happen to someone, well...

1 hour ago Favorite Undo Retweet Reply

Xiaxue ♥‿♥ Xiaxue ★彡 

Go and suck cock you fucking fat white housewife bitches with nothing better to do. You wanted to hate me more right? HERE IT IS!!

1 hour ago Favorite Retweet Reply

I think it's fairly safe to say we're all done now, mkay? While you may have taken offence at my attack on one of your beloved bloggers, it is enough. While you have honestly completely misunderstood me and taken some of my comments as being racist, there's nothing more I can say to convince you otherwise. 

But people I care about are getting upset by this. It's leaving a bad taste in the mouths of a lot. And even though there were no racial undertones in my initial (or subsequent) post, it has now very much turned into an Australia Vs Asia thing. That's just the most horrible thought to me.  As someone who in the Australian blogosphere who is known as a bit of a bleeding heart leftie who is so ashamed of Australia's record on human rights, I'm appalled that ANYthing I have said has led anyone to believe that I am racist.

So. I'm shutting down the comments. I won't delete or edit any of them. I believe that no matter how hateful, everyone is entitled to their point of view.  I think some of the comments that came from my detractors proved my point a bit though. In no way did I ever say that I hoped anything bad happened to any of you. I never said you would deserve to be raped, abused, sick or suffer loss. I never encouraged anyone to kill themselves and do the rest of the world a favour.  I never called anyone fat, ugly, a troll or similar. I think that people who's only weapon in an argument are attacks like that have already lost. 

Obviously, I don't know Wendy as well as any of you. Obviously she has an enormous appeal. It's clear by your loyalty to her. I've no doubt she is happy that she has so many loyal friends. And while I wish you'd gone about it differently, I can admire someone who commands that kind of loyalty from those who love them. 

But I don't want my friends feeling they should defend me. I don't want them being insulted and hurt. I don't want them to be called names. So, no matter how it is received (and let's be honest here. Fans of Xiaxue and I'm sure Xiaxue herself will see this as another of their 'wins'), I will shut down further commenting on any posts related to this matter. I 

I have you all plenty of time to be angry or disgusted by me. I gave you free reign to say about me what you wanted. Your time's up and you're no longer interesting to me. 

I hope that Xiaxue has enjoyed the heady rush of another internet feud. I have no doubt another will come along for her soon enough.